It’s no easy feat to learn the most powerful way to communicate and connect with those around us. And as I always say there is that one person in your world, whether it be a colleague, boss, sister, brother or lover who makes communicating a serious uphill battle. So much so that most times you’d rather just leave it all on the table and just walk away.
However in most of these testy scenarios it’s someone you can’t just divorce or break up with.
It’s someone you’re married to for a life other than a spouse. So meaning you are stuck with them. Sure you two can go your separate ways, but they are still your mother or sister or brother, even a best friend.
We have soul contracts and deep connectedness with certain people and just walking away may be an option, but hardly a powerful one.
Our hearts are heavy, our pain runs deep and we generally even lose consistent sleep cause this unresolved matter weighs heavy on us day in and day out.
And sure we can ignore it and pretend it doesn’t bother us, but deep down inside it does. It bugs us and eats away at us.
We are not settled or at peace. We think about it constantly and hurt over it whether we want to confront it or not.
The love and the pain does not just go away. There is no power in leaving with a heavy heart cause that’s just torture all around.
What We Need Is Empathy And Love
The ultimate scenario entails love, forgiveness, and wholeness. That’s the ideal way to get over things and live fully from the heart with the hurt. Unresolved conflict is never fun or powerful.
As you may know I’m always having powerful dialogue with awesome trainers, teachers and in mediators.
One such exceptional mediator who teaches the power of compassionate listening all over the world is Susan Partnow.
Here it is for your reference and here is one of my favorite takeaways from the conversation –
“…..a lot of our practices are how to dissolve those protective defenses so we can once again access that heart. Which of course means we are willing to feel our pain as well as our joy and be vulnerable. And that is scary for for many of us. So this is why we call it is healing our world from the inside out. The work begins with ourselves and our own connection to our own heart.
I had a powerful exchange with her and she shared some incredible insights into the power of listening.”
I too have written extensively about Mindful Communication and Listening is the first step to powerful exchanges.
In my book Heart To Heart: 10 Steps To Communicating Mindfully and Connecting Deeply – I begin with this, “Through the art of listening, people become less guarded and closed off, and they allow us to hear what they feel or think that is inspiring their words. When we listen fully, intently, others begin to feel safe in sharing. When we allow people to speak freely at will, and at length, they begin to feel honored and loved and will share more of their heart and soul.” Page 10.
Check out this video here where I go in to depth about the power of mindful communication and offer practical tips.