On accepting hard things I feel I have deep experience in this so let me start at the beginning. It would be most appropriate to start there with where I learned the power to accept hard things. Or even more learned that I had to accept hard things, that it was for my inevitable benefit to do so.
Most people struggle with this, but for me the lesson I was given at a young age made it a part of me, it was ingrained in me, in every fiber of my being. And for this I’m so very grateful.
The First Lesson In Accepting Hard Things
The first lesson in life came to me at a very young. Hand delivered by mouth to my little spongy ears that took in so much of what came through. Things resonated in a way that they don’t as we age. It’s the newness of it I suppose. The freshness. It’s that book Suzuki or this age old philosophy – Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind. It is indeed how we want to be because it helps us be more open to foreign ideas, people, places, things. It offers a fresh gaze. It’s a perspective we don’t have and we glean something new from it.
So my incredible mother told me at a very young age, the first time I recall her saying this – was at the ripe, yet tender age of 5. She looked me deep in the eye, piercing through my little soul and spirit with her soft and warm gaze, “Life Is Hard.”
And kaboom. There it was. That was the first time I’d heard it. And then from there on out it was a constant in my life, that phrase.
It was not meant to scare me or harden me or derail me, but more maternal in it’s proclivity. It was there to toughen me in the warmest and most splendor of ways. It was there to prepare me. It was the, “put on your big girl pants,” affirmation, but with a depth of clarity.
And so there you have it. This information given to me very matter of factly so when things got hard there seemed to always be a profound sense of knowing and acceptance that has come with it for me because of these 3 words that were instilled in me.
And let me tell you things got hard. I’ve had a trying and traumatic life and I’ll share more on that in the coming days.
While I’ve been writing for so long I see know how evident it is I was made a writer. It’s not coincidence I’ve had a hard life with enormous challenges and struggles which offer exemplary writing material. More on that later.
How To Accept Hard Things
So now let’s consider how you should begin to accept hard things.
First of all you should know and understand that life is hard. It’s a fact. It’s actually hard. There are ups and downs, peaks and valleys, highs and lows, but with broader perspective – just accepting is the first step to beginning to surrender.
And with the surrender of this knowing comes less resistance. It’s less intolerable when the hard stuff does happen cause you already know and have already accepted life is hard.
Consider all you’ve been through thus far. Consider how far you’ve come. Think of all you’ve already overcome and warrior-ed through up until now. And learn the path of least resistance.
In order to accept there is inevitable surrender. Relinquish the need for explanation and the need to have it your way. How often has life not gone your way? Probably more than it has so just, let it go.
Reframing The Way You See And Understand Life
Now here are some pointers for reframing it all –
The first thing to do is start going deeper with yourself in life. Learning to have deeper understanding of life.
I do this with ample wisdom that was left by the sages before us. Buddhist teachings, Sikh teachings, Hinduism all have something for us to gain in life not to mention some of the great writers in the spiritual and self help space.
Don Miguel Ruiz, Tara Brach, Sharon Salzberg, Joe Dispenza, Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, Eckart Tolle, just to name a few. Checkout the bookshop for some of my favorite reads.
There is some deeper inquisition and lessons that are taught in these old religions that give us a narrative to live by, hope to live by and faith that this is all par for the course.
When you start learning from the sages you automatically begin to reframe how you see and understand life.
Begin the deeper contemplative work. Ask more questions. Get more curious. Read more. Inquire more. Go within. For help with this download my Ultimate Self Inquisition Guide here.
So become more inquisitive. Start to go deeper with your shortcomings. “Delve in to the lessons of your failures. Learn from those failures and use them as a catalyst for growth. Don’t use your failures as excuses to quit or give up or live in some perpetual state of victimhood.” Sue Dhillon