Powerful communication looks nothing like you’d imagine. Many mistake it for chit chat that might come off at first glance as delightful, but rather very likely is a one way street of too much talking.
Talking is the one thing that comes to everyone’s mind when we bring up communication. However talking is a low grade aspect of communication. It requires little thought and a lot of yap.
There isn’t much evolution happening when we are just start talking for our ego’s sake. Not only are we just yapping away we are not doing ourselves or anyone who’s listening much service. We are simply filling the air with a void of words that land on most likely shallow ears.
If we are not taking anything substantive from the conversation then we can assume our hyper vigilant listening is not turned up.
We’re there in some capacity, but non-substantive things generally don’t receive as much attention.
The most powerful communication entails connection first rather than communication.
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Connection Is Powerful Communication
Connecting is so essential to powerful communication. Without connection there is no possibility for depth.
Without it most of the exchange will just remain as a surface level exchange. Once we instigate connection we’ve elevated any potential communication automatically. Connection is everything when we are trying to have deep and meaningful dialogue with another.
The more we can connect with others the deeper we can go.
If we are disconnected from the person with whom we are trying to convey something to or someone we are trying to understand unless we let our guard down and make some effort to connect it cannot happen.
Well it can happen without connection. But the likelihood of being fully heard and fully understood or vice versa is possible, but only will do so much for the exchange.
For us to completely hear them and get their point wholeheartedly this can only happen with sincere connection.
Connection allows us a sense of closeness that can only happen when we are listening from the heart. When we listen in this way we set aside the ego and bring empathy to the fore which enables connection.
Check out this previous post on how to Resolve Conflict Like A Pro.
Try This Next To Level Up Your Communication
The next step in powerful communication entails total presence on your part.
Presence means you are brining absolute awareness. You are there and fully present. You are not drifting. You are there and listening with your heart. You are allowing your heart to hear what the person is sharing. You are not armed and ready with a response, but rather bring compassion to allow them to share at length. This is what powerful communication looks like.
When we are communicating powerfully we are – bringing total awareness. We are fully present. We are displaying an openness and allowing connection to unfold organically and deeply between us.
Compassionate listening is a powerful means to go deeper with others.
Checkout this post and be sure to listen into my conversation with Susan Partnow – Head facilitator with the Compassionate Listening Project.
The Last And Final First Step To Powerful Communication
While I’ve shared about this extensively before the steps to powerful communication just never change.
It entails the same way of showing up and brining the same level of awareness and emotional intelligence to each and every exchange.
So while we’ve touched on the need to allow connection and bring presence.
The next most critical step in powerful communication is listening.
Listening is generally never thought to be a form of communication, but it in fact is the #1 step to powerful communication.
It is only through listening that we can actually get somewhere with our communication.
Without it we will get nowhere.
If we don’t listen and can only speak then we have not heard the other person.
And only once we truly hear the person can we respond powerfully to the person.
Listening is such a critical component and it’s so unconscionable how often it gets overlooked.
Even with our excessive need to constantly speak even we are not getting our point across powerfully by just rambling. Our words just start getting jumbled together.
Especially if we come with the intent to resolve something or get something off our heart or allow the other to do that without compassionate listening it’s just not possible.
What Does Compassionate Listening Entail?
This is what powerful communication with compassionate listening looks like –
Person A – “Hi there. I’m needing to share something from the heart. Is that ok with you?”
Person B – “Yes. Please share. I’m here for you and want to listen.”
Person A – “That means so much to me. Thank you.”
Person B – “You’re welcome. Now please share. I’m listening.”
While I’ve simplified this here it’s really the ability to show up without needing to talk so you can bring conscious listening to the exchange. And it’s also the ability to be able to communicate to someone without issuing they already know that you’d like to share something from the heart.
When we communicate in this way people are very receptive.
Here is a video I created on Listening –
Practical Tips And Guidance For Effective Communication
If you didn’t already know communication is kind of my thing. I’ve spent years writing about this and teaching it. So if you want even more guidance sign up here for my free Next Level Communication Training that will take you to the next level. The free training is less than an hour. It’s jam packed with actionable tips you can begin applying to your communication right now. And yes, even with that most difficult person.