For years, my nightly ritual was a legal pad and a pen: three things to tackle first thing tomorrow, written out right before I turned off the light. It felt responsible, like I was staying ahead of my own life. What it actually did was keep my brain running tomorrow’s schedule instead of winding down tonight’s.
Once I dropped that list and replaced it with something completely different, the way I fell asleep changed, and so did the way I woke up. Here’s the full evening wind-down that replaced it: nine small, doable habits that turn your evening into a soft landing instead of a crash.
1. Set a “devices down” time — not just a bedtime
Pick a time 45 to 60 minutes before you actually want to fall asleep, and put your phone in another room. The habit isn’t “no phone in bed,” it’s “no phone starting at 9:15.” A specific time is easier to keep than a vague rule. The Complete Guide To Loving Yourself is a helpful resource.
2. Dim the lights an hour early
Overhead lights tell your brain it’s still daytime. Switching to a lamp, string lights, or candles an hour before bed nudges your melatonin along naturally. I learned all about night light and how important that is during my treatment for sleep at the Stanford Sleep Treatment Center. Those details are here.
3. Do a 2-minute tidy, not a deep clean
Clear your nightstand, put shoes by the door, close your laptop. Walking into a slightly-tidied space the next morning does more for your mood than people expect, and two minutes is genuinely all it takes. No excuses. No clutter.
4. Swap your last scroll for a paper page
It doesn’t have to be a novel. A magazine, a journal prompt, even a recipe you’ve been meaning to try all count. The point is paper over a lit screen for the last 10 minutes before lights out.
Shoppable idea: a guided journal or a nightstand book light
One of my favorite journals right from the shop is a good way to wind down.
A chic knitted vest with a V-neck and tie front.
The Field Guide For Depression Notebook is a #1 seller.
5. Swap the To-Do List For a Gratitude And Wins Practice
I used to keep a running “tomorrow” list by my bed: three things to tackle first thing in the morning. It felt productive, but honestly, it did the opposite of what I wanted. Seeing tomorrow’s workload laid out right before sleep kept my brain half-awake, running the schedule instead of winding down.
Now I do the opposite. I grab my journal and write down my wins from the day, even small ones, and one or two things I’m genuinely grateful for. Instead of “I’m grateful for my family,” I try to get specific: “I’m grateful my sister texted me that stupid meme today.” Closing the day by acknowledging what already went right, instead of previewing what’s still ahead, is what actually gets me ready for bed.
6. A warm, non-caffeinated drink
Chamomile, tulsi, warm milk, decaf golden milk or whatever you like. The ritual of making it matters as much as what’s in the cup.
For me – My go-to is herbal tea from Forte, my absolute favorite brand. I actually drink it iced during the day too, but at night I take it warm. I got hooked on it through The Quarters, one of my regular go-to spots (a post I wrote from The Quarters – one of my favorite writing spots.) Chamomile, tulsi, warm milk, or decaf golden milk all work just as well if tea isn’t your thing. It’s less about the exact drink and more about the ritual of making it, slowing down for those few minutes while it steeps.
My Favorite Kind Of Tea Kettle
7. Stretch for five minutes, not sixty
A short, easy stretch (neck rolls, child’s pose, legs up the wall) signals to your body that the day’s physical demands are done. You don’t need a full yoga practice for this to work. To be completely honest I resort to Jeffrey Chand for a little guided evening Qigong or Nick Loffree’s Boost Theta and Alpha Wave’s every now and then. And again it’s not about getting physical and activating your nervous system – it’s about winding it all the way down – and there is nothing like a little Qigong to kickstart your evening into a slower pace.
8. A Short Meditation
I’ve been meditating for decades, across a few different traditions, from Sahaj to Transcendental Meditation, so this isn’t a five-minute app habit for me, it’s closer to a lifelong practice. But you don’t need decades of experience to get something out of it. Even five or ten minutes of quiet, focused breathing before bed does more to reset your mind than almost anything else on this list. If you’re brand new to it, look into Transcendental Meditation (tm.org) for a structured, teacher-led starting point, or Heartfulness/Sahaj Marg for a more meditative, heart-centered approach. Either is a real practice, not just an app subscription. And for a little step by step guidance from yours truly go here or I guide you here.
9. Same lights-out time, even on weekends
This is the one people skip, and the one that matters most. Consistency does more for how rested you feel than any single habit on this list.
The Takeaway
None of these require a five-step skincare routine or a $200 sleep tracker. Pick two habits from this list, do them tonight, and build from there. Small and repeatable beats ambitious and abandoned by Thursday.
Want more small, real habits like this? Join the list.
Up next: The Miracle Morning – Powerful Guidance to Pair With This Wind-Down Routine
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