A therapy breakthrough is not that far fetched. In fact people have breakthroughs in therapy all the time. However there is a reason why therapy feels harder before it gets easier.
So we’ve all heard stories about therapy transforming lives. Yet many experience something unexpected when they begin their therapy journey: things often feel worse before they feel better. If you’ve started therapy and found yourself more emotional, more aware of pain, or questioning if it’s even working, you’re not alone. This common but rarely discussed phenomenon is actually a sign that therapy is working as intended.
Table of Contents
The Discomfort of Growth: Why Healing Isn’t Linear
When you first begin therapy, you’re opening doors to rooms in your mind that may have been locked for years. Inside you’re holding emotions, memories, and patterns that your mind has carefully tucked away. Your therapist isn’t just giving you a peek inside—they’re helping you clean out those spaces entirely.
This process, often called “emotional processing,” naturally brings discomfort. You might experience:
- Heightened emotional responses to situations that previously seemed manageable
- Dreams or memories surfacing that you haven’t thought about in years
- Recognition of unhealthy patterns in relationships that you’ve been participating in
- Grief over lost time or opportunities that your previous coping mechanisms caused
A friend of mine described her therapy journey like this, “I started therapy thinking I had everything under control. Six sessions in, I was crying during my lunch breaks. But three months later, I finally understood what genuine peace felt like.”
The Science Behind Therapeutic Discomfort
This experience isn’t just anecdotal—it’s backed by neuroscience. When we engage in therapy, particularly types focused on processing trauma or deep-seated emotional patterns, our brain’s limbic system becomes more active. The amygdala, which processes emotions, can become temporarily more sensitive as we work through difficult material.
Studies have shown that during effective therapeutic processes, brain activity initially increases in areas associated with emotional processing before showing the calming patterns associated with resolution. It’s similar to how a fever fights infection—temporarily uncomfortable but part of the healing process.
Signs That Discomfort Is Productive (Not Problematic)
Not all therapeutic discomfort is created equal. Here’s how to recognize when difficulty signals progress rather than problems:
- The discomfort fluctuates rather than remains constant. You experience difficult emotions during and after sessions, but also moments of clarity and relief.
- You’re developing new insights about yourself and your patterns, even if these insights are initially painful.
- Your relationship with your therapist feels supportive even when challenging. You feel heard and respected, not judged or dismissed.
- You notice small changes in how you respond to triggers or situations outside of therapy, even if these changes are subtle.
How to Navigate the Challenging Phase of Therapy
If you’re in this challenging phase of therapy, here are strategies that can help:
- Practice self-compassion. Remind yourself that discomfort is part of growth, not a sign of failure.
- Communicate openly with your therapist about what you’re experiencing. They can help validate your experience and adjust approaches if needed.
- Develop robust self-care practices between sessions. Journaling, gentle movement, time in nature, and connecting with supportive people can all provide balance. Have You Started A Self-Care Journal Yet?
- Remember that integration takes time. Your brain is literally rewiring neural pathways—a process that can’t be rushed.
When Breakthrough Finally Happens
Most people who persist through the challenging phases of therapy report a similar experience: a threshold moment when something shifts. This breakthrough doesn’t always arrive with dramatic revelation. More often, clients describe noticing one day that they responded differently to an old trigger, felt emotions that had been numbed, or experienced genuine self-compassion where shame once dominated.
As therapist Dr. Nicole LePera puts it: “Healing happens in spirals. We come back to the same patterns, but with new awareness each time, until the pattern no longer has control over us.”
The Best Therapy Resource
If you’re interested in learning more about online therapy, I recommend checking out BetterHelp. They offer online therapy sessions with licensed therapists at an affordable price point.
As you know I’m a huge proponent of Mental Wellness and ensuring we all get the help we need when we need it. And of course, I don’t want you just to get any help I want you to get the right help so I am now sponsored by BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is the world’s largest therapy service, and it’s 100% online.
BetterHelp offers a network of over 25,000 licensed and experienced therapists who can help you with a wide range of issues.
Just click on the link below, answer a few questions and get matched with a therapist from the network.
One of the most amazing features of BetterHelp, if you don’t jive with your therapist you can switch to a new one that’s a better fit for you any time free of charge.
With BetterHelp, you get the same professionalism and quality you expect from in-office therapy, but with a therapist who is custom-picked for you, more scheduling flexibility, and at a more affordable price
The Journey Is Worth It
If you’re currently in the discomfort phase of therapy, take heart. This challenging period is not only normal—it’s necessary for true change. The courage it takes to face difficult emotions and patterns head-on is remarkable, and the freedom waiting on the other side is the real measure of therapy’s success.
Remember: in therapy, as in life, the most worthwhile journeys rarely follow a straight line.
Have you experienced the “worse before better” phenomenon in your therapeutic journey? Share your experiences in the comments below.
For more insights and guidance if you’re thinking about therapy check out these articles below –
What Kind Of Therapist Do I Need?
How Much Does BetterHelp Cost?
Online Therapy Vs In Person Therapy
