The Greatest relationship advice ever was given not to me, but as soon as I heard it seemed numbingly succinct. The greatest relationship advice is advice the late Ruth Bader Ginsberg shared. Given to her by her mother in law. She whispered these profound words in her ear on her wedding day after telling her she loved her. “Sometimes it’s good to be a little deaf.”
Now that is some really great relationship advice. And as you age no matter how bold and brave you are it pays to take this advice. It’s a different way of saying, “let it go.”
When you can see it that way it’s more empowering. And of course this is not a license to tolerate verbal abuse of any kind, but the little stuff. When your spouse puts his or her foot in their mouth, walk away, let it go. Not everything in life is battle worthy. The greatest relationship advice is packed with wisdom that will only pay dividends in the long run.
Great relationship advice is handed out sparingly. Someone always seems to be advising, but seldom is it wisely thought out advice that will actually work for both parties. Many times the relationship advice can be one sided or misleading.
At times it could be a friend or family member who does not like your parter or spouse giving you advice that may not be helpful. This kind of relationship guidance can actually be harmful and hinder a potential resolution.
In conversation recently with Nancy Parpal on the podcast who is a divorce attorney and has been giving our relationship advice in hopes of reconciling unions for decades. She believes with the right guidance and the surrendering of egos many relationships are one powerful conversation away from a reconciliation. She’d much rather that outcome than a retainer fee to file divorce papers and expedite a separation.
She was never concerned about money cause she knew many of those relationships were not going to be mendable, but she didn’t encourage divorce, but on many occasions acting as a guidance counselor offering support to hurting couples along with really great relationship advice.
Listen in here to my conversation with Nancy on the Blossom Your Awesome Podcast
Episode # 85 – Emotional Nutrients
Here is the greatest life advice I was ever given.
Table of Contents
Why It’s A Good Idea To Follow This Advice
Another Awesome Relationship Hack
The next best relationship hack is learning, this is somewhat counter opposite to the first piece of advice I shared. While I’m first telling you to be a little deaf.
When time for dialogue or conversation is necessary listening is the key to effective communication.
Most people have no clue that listening is the #1 most powerful step in communication.
So start here. Step up the listening. Learn to listen at length. Don’t cut them off. Allow them to share. They will give you the same courtesy as you level up the way you two show up for one another. This is the most powerful way to show up for anyone and everyone in your world.
The connections and deepening of bonds I’ve experienced in my life with my people who I’m closest to has all been by way of listening.
Many times a rocky relationship can elevate and go so much deeper when we express love and make room for compassionate listening. This is what the relationship craves and needs to go deeper. You need to listen first.
Watch this short video I made on the power of listening and mindful communication.
A Relationship Goal We All Should Be Aiming For
A relationship goal we should all be aiming for is to let things simmer down, you included. Let the heat cool off first before addressing anything. It’s always good to get to a level of maturity that you can actually address it like two adults. Not casting stones here at anyone, but it takes two to tango. So this means don’t just brush things that bug you and bother you and unwelcome gestures under the rug.
Let it roll off and then perhaps later if it was mean or super rude, humiliating or something like that and yes even these things can and most often should be forgiven cool down and then say you’d like to chat.
And do it without making them wrong. Do not play the blame game. Do not come in with an all out assault like – what a jerk they were. Instead – Resolve Conflict Like A Pro – say this
“I’d like to talk about something. Are you open to it? I don’t want to make you wrong I just want to share how it made me felt. It really bothered me and hurt my feelings. I would love it if you could be more thoughtful in the future. I love you and that would mean a lot.”
Now of course your words will be your own, but I want you to consider this line of communication. It’s direct. It’s not blaming and you are sharing from the heart telling them it hurt your feelings without making them wrong, but making it a heartfelt communication. And you are very clearly asking them to be more thoughtful in the future.”
Boom. That’s all it takes.
And as you begin communicating in this way you will raise the vibration and elevate the dialogue and see that you can get more bees with honey than sticks and stones.
And feel free to ask them to share with something like –
“Would you like to respond to what I’ve just said? What are your thoughts on what I just shared? I’d love to hear your thoughts.”
Mindful Communication is the key to any powerful relationship.
Great Advice To Live By From The Podcast
So as it is becoming more and more evident as I put down more and more episodes I’m on a mission here with the Blossom Your Awesome Podcast. I feel deeply called, not just recently, but for decades. I was born to do this work. I was born to communicate and have powerful communication. I was a communication major in college and spent more than a decade in the network news business as a producer, field producer and reporter. Relationships are everything. Building strong communication the key to google relationships. Compassionate Listening. This is by far one of the most popular episode ever on the show with Susan Partnow. She is a facilitator for the Compassionate Listening Project and has gone around the world and facilitated conflict by teaching people the power of compassionate listening. If it can work in war torn regions of the world than it can work in your own war zone at home. Put down the arms and listen.
A Powerful Resource If You Need Help Resolving Conflict
So while it’s essential you learn a powerful way to communicate, let stuff go and listen in the beginning you may need a facilitator of your own.
As you know I’m a huge proponent of Mental wellness and ensuring we all get the help we need when we need it. And of course, I don’t want you just to get any help I want you to get the right help so I am now sponsored by BetterHelp.
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