Life is so very hard and coping with life changes can be even harder. I’ve come to realize life is a lot like riding a roller coaster blindfolded. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, another twist, turn, or loop comes out of nowhere. Whether it’s a career shift, a move to a new city, the end of a relationship, or even good changes like marriage or having a baby, life transitions can knock us off our feet.
I remember when I first moved to a different state for a new job at ABC. Excitement? Check. Terror? Double-check. I felt like I was simultaneously living my dream and terrified to be alone at the same time. If you’re in the midst of a big life change right now, I see you. It’s not easy, but I promise you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed.
The thing about change that we have to remember is that it’s inevitable. We can’t stop it, but we can learn to surf its waves instead of being pulled under.
10 Strategies For Coping With Life Changes
So, let’s talk about some strategies for navigating life’s transitions without losing our minds in the process.
- Embrace the “Messy Middle”
First things first, let’s get real about something: transitions can be messy. There’s this myth that change should be a neat, linear process. Spoiler alert: it’s not. I like to call this the “messy middle” – that space between your old normal and your new normal where everything feels upside down.
Instead of fighting against this messiness, try embracing it. Think of it as the cocoon stage of a butterfly’s metamorphosis. It might feel chaotic, but amazing transformations are happening. Give yourself permission to be a work in progress. Surrender into it.
- Create a “Change Resilience Kit”
When I’m going through a big transition, I put together what I call a “Change Resilience Kit.” It’s like a first-aid kit but for your emotions. Mine includes:
- A journal for brain dumps
- Playlists for different moods
- Comfort movies
- A list of friends I can call anytime
- Simple self-care items (face masks, favorite tea, etc.) For more on self-care ideas try out the self-care challenge to level up.
Your kit might look different, and that’s okay. The point is to have go-to resources for when things feel overwhelming.
- Practice the “Both/And” Mindset
Often, we think we should feel one way about a change – either excited or scared, happy or sad. But we humans are complex, and it’s totally normal to have conflicting emotions. I call this the “Both/And” mindset.
You can be both thrilled about your new job and mourning your old one. You can be excited about moving and sad to leave your friends. Allowing space for all your emotions, even the conflicting ones, can be incredibly freeing. Feel whatever it is you need to feel no matter how complex.
- Establish “Anchor Points”
When everything’s changing, it’s crucial to have some constants in your life. I call these “anchor points” – routines or rituals that ground you no matter what else is going on. Try these resilience practices for inspiration and to help you keep going when the going gets tough.
Maybe it’s a morning meditation practice, a weekly call with your best friend, or a Sunday night movie tradition. These anchor points provide stability and familiarity when everything else feels up in the air. Check out my Deep Trance Guided Meditation. It’s 10 minutes and I walk you through it step by step.
- Reframe “Failure” as Feedback
During times of change, we often put immense pressure on ourselves to adapt quickly and seamlessly. But here’s a radical idea: what if we saw our stumbles not as failures, but as valuable feedback?
That time I got lost on my way to work in my new city? Not a failure, just feedback that I needed to leave earlier and maybe invest in a better GPS. Reframing our missteps this way takes off some of the pressure and allows us to learn and adjust more easily.
- Practice “Future-Self” Visualization
This might sound a bit woo-woo, but hear me out. Spend some time visualizing your “future self” who has successfully navigated this transition. What advice would they give you? How did they cope with the challenges you’re facing now?
I find this exercise helps me tap into my own resilience and wisdom. Plus, it reminds me that this difficult period is temporary.
- Cultivate a “Growth Mindset”
Change often pushes us out of our comfort zones, which can be uncomfortable. But it’s also an incredible opportunity for growth. Try to approach your transition with curiosity when coping with life changes. What can you learn from this experience? How might it help you become more resilient, adaptable, or compassionate? For more on the growth mindset click here.
- Create a “Change Narrative”
We’re all storytellers at heart, and the stories we tell ourselves about our experiences shape how we feel about them. Try writing out your “change narrative.” What’s the story of this transition? What role are you playing – the brave explorer, the resilient survivor, the curious learner?
Crafting a positive (but realistic) narrative about your change can help you feel more in control and optimistic about the future.
- Build Your “Transition Team”
No one should have to go through big life changes alone. Who’s on your transition team? Think about the people who support you, challenge you, make you laugh, or offer a shoulder to cry on. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help when you need it, especially when coping with life changes and transitions.
- Practice Patience and Self-Compassion
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, be patient and kind to yourself. Adjusting to change takes time, and there’s no “right” timeline. Some days you’ll feel on top of the world, and others you might want to hide under the covers. Both are okay.
Treat yourself like you would a good friend going through a tough time. Offer yourself words of encouragement, celebrate small victories, and remember that it’s okay to not have it all figured out.
Change might be inevitable, but struggling doesn’t have to be. By embracing the messiness, building our resilience toolkit, and approaching transitions with curiosity and self-compassion, we can navigate life’s changes with a bit more grace (and a lot less panic).
Remember, you’ve survived every change life has thrown at you so far – you’ve got this one too. And who knows? This change might just be the beginning of your most exciting chapter yet.
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