It’s 2 AM and anxiety rituals are not your best friend, not yet at least. You’re exhausted, but your mind is still sprinting. I can’t tell you how many 2am’s have had me up stirring and swirling with thoughts, emotions and anxieties that kept me awake. Look, I know all about this version of anxiety that tells you to “just breathe.” Of course I’d already meditated for the evening, I’d done a little Jeffrey Chand Qi Gong as well. I’ve done my usual variation of breath work techniques – the 7-8 breath work technique, several 4-7-8 attempts and even a round of box breathing, the 4 second spin. But sleep continued to elude me.

🔥 Here’s the truth bomb: we try everything because anxiety makes you spin out a little. We do the super low squats, we push on the pressure points in circular motion, we remember the mantra we learned in our Sahaj meditation class 15 years ago. But here’s what I realized – our body doesn’t need more techniques to perform. What it needs is to simply stop with all the stuff and things and really just allow that stillness to unfold from within.

So instead of doing a bunch of things, I needed a few good tools that could help facilitate that calm – not more busy-work, but things that create the conditions for my body to actually settle.

The Rituals That Changed Everything

The Quiet Mind Weighted Pillow for nervous system grounding – While this may seem a little far-fetched, it’s scientifically proven to lower stress. Holding something and the sensory component are actually things that help facilitate calm within. The weight signals safety to your nervous system in a way that just thinking about calm never could.

Gentle green light therapy before bed – I learned this from the Stanford Sleep Treatment Center – yep I did that whole thing. Look, I’ve actually got some pretty powerful insights into this whole how to sleep better and get rid of insomnia. I’ve been a victim, sufferer and now suffragette of insomnia – decades deep. Back to green light therapy – bright lights until right before bed keep our mind activated longer. Low light and in particular the Allay lamp green light works differently than what you’d expect. Green light at specific wavelengths (around 520-530nm) appears to modulate pain and stress responses by influencing the endogenous opioid system and reducing activity in pain-processing neural circuits, particularly through pathways involving the visual cortex and limbic structures. Translation? It tells your brain it’s actually safe to wind down.

Writing out intrusive thoughts in your Anxiety Alchemist Journal – I created this journal for the very purpose of helping detox and clear out some of that junk that keeps us in a funk. Letting it out is a sound means of letting it go – it is freeing and liberating. Starting your day with releasing some of that hard stuff we store in our mind, body, shoulders, heart and gut – that feeling you get that makes you want to throw up when you think of that stressful situation? Yeah, that’s pain and trauma stored in your gut.

5-minute body-scan meditation before sleep – As a Reiki master I’ve been doing body scans for nearly two decades now, but we underestimate the power of this. It’s evoking stillness to feel and honor what feels tense within and where we can soften ourselves to invoke greater peace and calm. This isn’t another task – it’s permission to finally stop doing.

Online therapy for deeper patterns – While I’ve been on the fence and off the fence about therapy over the decades, I’m back on and recognize the power of having a professional help facilitate deeper healing.

As you know I’m a huge proponent of mental well-being and ensuring we all get the help we need when we need it. And of course, I don’t want you just to get any help I want you to get the right help so I am now sponsored by BetterHelp. 

BetterHelp is the world’s largest therapy service, and it’s 100% online.

BetterHelp offers a network of over 25,000 licensed and experienced therapists who can help you with a wide range of issues.

Just click on the link below, answer a few questions and get matched with a therapist from the network. 

One of the most amazing features of BetterHelp, if you don’t jive with your therapist you can switch to a new one that’s a better fit for you any time free of charge. 

With BetterHelp, you get the same professionalism and quality you expect from in-office therapy, but with a therapist who is custom-picked for you, more scheduling flexibility, and the opportunity to experience all the benefits of therapy at a more affordable price.

Here’s What Actually Happens

None of these erased anxiety overnight. But what does happen is by bringing in one or two of these things that work best for us and how we’re wired, we rewire our circuits. We remind our body of what calm looks like and feels like. They create space for that stillness to unfold instead of forcing it.

If you want to start small in the right direction, start with a little calming ritual before bed. My Anxiety Alchemist Journal is a simple way to process worry before it spirals.

Tonight, instead of fighting your thoughts, try asking: what is my anxiety trying to protect me from?