These 3 most effective communication examples all have one thing in common.
Let’s get into the most powerful way to communicate with these example exchanges. This works so learn to elevate the dialogue, resolve conflict, go higher and have deeper conversations with all of those around you.
Table of Contents
Effective Communication Example #1
You may not know this, but there is one thing that you can do that is completely effortless with your communication and that is the most powerful form of communication.
Most people assume communication is about talking. However they are generally stumped to learn the #1 step to communication has nothing to do with talking at all.
The #1 most effective and most important thing in communication is to listen. Listening is the #1 step. Listening is essential cause it allows us to truly hear what the other person is saying and where they are coming from. Listening is powerful cause only through listening can we give this person a response that will help solve their issue or speak directly to whatever they are speaking to. Without hearing them out first we are just speculating as to the best thing to say.
Here’s a great way to start with the #1 most effective step in communication.
Practice Dialogue –
YOU: “I’d love to listen to what’s going on with you; where you are with this thing, person or place, etc…. I’d. like to hear out what the issue is and allow you to speak at length. I want you to share at length and I am not here to judge you or make you wrong. I’d simply like to listen.”
While this may seem like a far stretch from anything you’ve ever said and I know we don’t generally tend to speak like this so this dialogue may seem all together foreign, it works.
Literally take these words I’ve shared and do it as a practice exercise to see how the person you use these words with responds.
I promise you they will respond in a way you never imagined they were capable of responding.
And now here’s the kicker – they will respond in such a receptive way cause you have never approached them in this way.
They will be so taken aback and so open to this offering that they will be rendered defenseless.
Lead them to higher ground so they can take the high road.
THEM: “Wow. That’s so thoughtful of you. That means a lot. I do have things to share. I’d love to share at length. It means so much to me to have you here offering support in this way. I would love your feedback once I’ve shared. And then I’d also like to hear your story or how we can help one another out. I also do not want to make you wrong. I want us to begin to have more powerful dialogue and start to feel safer with sharing from the heart.”
Again, note that these are only suggestions to give you some idea of what powerful dialogue and interaction looks like.
It does not and will not play out like this exactly, but this is the tone you set when you begin as I’ve suggested in the first part of the exchange.
Their response may be completely different than the potential response I’ve laid out here by them, however they will not be reactive and combative if you approach it the way I’ve suggested.
Checkout this video where I share in greater depth on the most powerful step to communication.
The Second Most Effective Communication Example
Going deeper is the second most effective way to communicate with people. What you do here when you are able to go deeper is build trust. You are making them feel safe and cared for by listening to them at length. And now you are stepping up your listening by validating how much you care with follow up questions.
Ask yourself – Who does this?
When have you ever or has anyone ever let you speak at length and then not chime in, but instead ask you to continue and go on some more and even better ask you questions about you affirming care and consideration, and obvious thoughtfulness?
You are learning more about this person.
You are affirming to them that you care to know more. You care so much about them that not only are you willing to let them speak uninterrupted, but you want them to share even more.
This is the most powerful way to build trust and deepen the bond between you and another. Even in combat one can only shout so much. If you let them know you care enough to listen this is a first huge powerful step in communication.
So few actually ever get here and elevate the dialogue cause our need to speak is so overpowering and dwarf any potential of listening.
We want to speak. We want to share. We want to talk about ourselves, but most people don’t care and are not evolved enough to allow us this opening.
Show someone you truly care by allowing them to speak and share.
And don’t fear. You will get your turn to speak.
This is how you being to elevate the dialogue. You lead by example.
Imagine how much power and potential there is in your bond when you show up in this way.
Everything between the two of you has the potential to become so solid and light, so deep and so profound.
You will never want to go back to the old way of communicating ever again.
A Third Example Of Effective Communication
Do not make them wrong. This is one of the most important aspects to having difficult or hard conversations in a powerful way.
As soon as you make them wrong it all goes down the drain, but if you can talk about hard things without blaming and finger pointing then this is a huge feat.
This is the most powerful way to open dialogue and have hard talks.
Don’t blame and don’t finger point. Don’t make them wrong even if they are.
Communicate that without making them wrong or shaming them. As soon as you do this you will lose them and the potential for resolution goes out the window.
Most people who are in the wrong do not just come right out and accept fault or want to be made or told they are wrong. Many times people figure out they were wrong on their own, but ti takes them a while to come to terms with it, accept it or cop to it.
If you can instead make it more about your own feelings rather than blaming they will be more receptive to hearing you out.
Example Dialogue
YOU: “I would like to talk about the other night or that argument or disagreement we had. I really did not like how that made me feel. It hurt my feelings. I’d like to learn a more powerful way. I’d love to talk to you about this without making one another wrong. Please don’t get defense. I forgive you and am not trying to make you wrong. I just want to find a better way. Is this something you are open to?”
Again these are examples of ways to approach someone you are interested in communicating in a more powerful way with.
There are countless ways to do this, but this is practical guidance to give you some insights into what powerful dialogue looks like.
We are showing up with compassion and presence. We have empathy and want to listen to what is on their heart. We allow them to speak at length and surrender our ego and need to talk and show up in a more selfless way. Remember. You will get your turn. You are showing them what powerful dialogue looks like and conveying that you’d like to listen and you’d like to share. They will give you your turn. Know this. And then we are going deeper by asking questions and affirming our love for them with our willingness to allow them to speak at length uninterrupted and our willingness to want to know more.
And then we are asking questions and irrespective of the conflict, drama or disagreements we are not making them wrong.
Several Of My Communication Resources To Help You Further
Be sure to sign up for my Next Level Communication Training. It’s a 35 minute training that offers tons of free insights and actionable tips to help you see communication in a whole new way.
This short video on Communication.
These insights by Thich Nhat Hanh on the power of listening.
I had an incredible conversation with peace facilitator Susan Partnow on Compassionate Listening. This continues to be one of the most downloaded episodes. I think we all would like to learn how to listen better and have greater compassion and I think very few people actually know how to do the. We know the power of listening is huge, but we were never taught exactly how huge. And of course we can all improve in this area. I find my own inquisitiveness and curiosity along with my many years in network news and now working independently have fielded my curiosity and passion. I love asking questions and I love listening. I believe everyone has a story to tell.
My Free Next Level Communication Training
If you want to take your communication to the next level sign up for my free training.
This free 35 minute training is jam packed with actionable tips and insights you can begin applying to your life right now, even with that most difficult person.
