We all know the voice of self-criticism: the one that tells you you’re not good enough, smart enough, or strong enough. For some of us, it plays on repeat, shaping how we see ourselves and limiting what we believe we can do.

That voice is self-criticism—and while a little reflection can be healthy, constant self-criticism is draining. It chips away at confidence, creates anxiety, and keeps you stuck in cycles of doubt.

Why We Criticize Ourselves

• Learned patterns: Many of us internalized criticism from parents, teachers, or past relationships.
• Perfectionism: Holding ourselves to impossible standards ensures we never measure up.
• Fear of failure: Criticism can feel like a way of bracing for disappointment.

The Cost of Constant Self-Criticism

• Low self-esteem
• Increased stress
• Strained relationships
• Missed opportunities

How to Start Shifting

The goal isn’t to eliminate self-reflection—it’s to stop weaponizing it against yourself. Try these approaches:

1. Name the critic. When you label the voice (“the Judge,” “the Perfectionist”), it creates distance.
2. Ask for evidence. Question whether the thought is 100% true.
3. Reframe with compassion. Speak to yourself the way you would to a close friend.
4. Use guided prompts. Structured self-inquiry can interrupt criticism and guide your thoughts in a healthier direction. (My signature offering is one for the books – The Ultimate Self-Inquisition Guide – Yours Free.)

Free Guide: 5 Prompts to Quiet Your Inner Critic

I created a short free guide with 5 journaling prompts to help you shift out of self-criticism and into self-compassion. It’s simple, practical, and you can use it anytime.

👉 [Grab your free copy here.]

A Great Resource Of Your Struggling With Self-Criticism

As you know I’m a huge proponent of Mental Wellness and ensuring we all get the help we need when we need it. And of course, I don’t want you just to get any help I want you to get the right help so I am now sponsored by BetterHelp.

BetterHelp is the world’s largest therapy service, and it’s 100% online. With a network of over 25,000 licensed and experienced therapists who can help you with a wide range of issues, BetterHelp makes professional support accessible anytime and anywhere.

Just click on the link below, answer a few questions and get matched with a therapist from the network. 

One of the most amazing features of BetterHelp, if you don’t jive with your therapist you can switch to a new one that’s a better fit for you any time free of charge. 

With BetterHelp, you get the same professionalism and quality you expect from in-office therapy, but with a therapist who is custom-picked for you, more scheduling flexibility, and at a more affordable price.

Final Word

Breaking free from constant self-criticism isn’t about silencing your inner voice—it’s about teaching it a new language. With practice, you can move from critic to coach, from judgment to growth.

---