HOW TO & WHY YOU HAVE TO
Forgiveness can be a hard task.
It’s one of the hardest things I’ve had to do after a severe betrayal. It took me a long time.
This was when I was younger and before I understood the power of forgiveness.
Today forgiving comes naturally. It’s just habitual to do so. It is very easy for me and a no-brainer. Why would I not forgive? There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to hold on to a hurt or pain. It defeats us and takes the best out of us.
In reference to time I cannot expend even a moment on a past hurt. That is not a powerful in this moment. And if I am holding on to some aspect of this past hurt or pain I am therefore not living powerfully into this moment.
I like Merriam-Webster’s definition of forgiveness the best. The definition – to cease to feel resentment against an offender or to pardon.
And yes this is precisely what it is, but as we know it’s a little more complicated than that.
So first let’s start with three reasons you should forgive –
- You do it for yourself. You forgive someone not for them, but because you want to release the pain and hurt inside of you and be free of that pain. This is the number one reason to forgive. Do it and be selfish. Do it for you. Don’t do it for them. You are the benefactor of it once you do it. You are giving this to them, but only once you take care of yourself. They are simply a residual of the gesture. And this is to leave a residue that remains effective. And this is exactly what you’ve done. You are forgiving this person because not forgiving is keeping you in a negative space of victimhood, woe and sorrow. Let it go. You’ll liberate yourself of something that is old news. Release the hurt and see the opening in your heart and the awareness in your soul that will arrive from letting go. Holding on is occupying space in your heart and soul, not to mention head. If you’re holding on to resentment there is absolutely no question that you have spent ample time revisiting this hurt and pain from yesteryear or last month or whenever, from you past. You are bringing it in to the here and now. You may not realize it, but you are keeping it alive.
- Empathy – Having empathy is one of the greatest things you can learn in life. It takes you out of the equation. It gives you higher awareness. It makes you more human. It makes you a more profound person and who operates from a place of awareness that is optimal to living dynamically.
- Time – This order can go anyway which way here. All of these things are important in order to truly forgive. When you become a seeker and begin to understand life and time you don’t have time for the bs and the non-sense. You have bigger fish to fry. When you understand life as an existentialist you understand you are here to be way bigger than this. You cannot possibly hold onto every little thing that upsets you in life. You can’t hold on because it will keep you from moving powerfully into your future. For more really great tips check out Fred Luskin’s article Nine Steps To Forgiveness and his recommended Nine Steps. On his list number 4 is my favorite, “Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts, and physical upset you are suffering now, not from what offended you or hurt you two minutes—or 10 years— ago.
There are a lot of great resources to help you overcome this hardship. You must commit to wanting to be free of it completely and wholeheartedly. Don’t let this hurt keep you down.
It happened and it was not a pleasant experience. Your power lies in letting it go and moving powerfully past it now. Don’t woe in it. It’s not powerful. You are better than this.
Let it go and allow yourself a sense of liberation and freedom.
See my short video on Forgiveness below.
It all begins with doing the self work. Happiness and finding lasting tranquility and peace takes work. We must spend time with ourselves. When we begin to self reflect on our life and experiences from our past we have greater clarity. We can better understand our part and how we might’ve handled things differently. And the more we go inward the more we have empathy for those around us.
The process of self inquiry gives us greater clarity and insight into life.
To better understand self-inquiry start with LITE (Look Insight To Enlightenment) Guide. This is my very own formula for beginning the process of self-reflection and self-inquiry. Download the LITE Guide.
And just because it’s so remarkably transformative and I am truly here to help you can download the Self-Inquiry -Awesome Inside Me Course for free. This will get you on your path to transformation, clarity, acceptance and forgiveness.
For more on my philosophy of forgiveness and the power of it download my free guide here.
Or if you want to learn to find inner calm try my free Guided Bliss Meditation. It’s my step by step guided mediation on mp3 where I walk you through getting started. It’s ten minutes. It’s free and if you decide you want to meditate and stick with it, it will change your life forever.
Please know I’m sincere in all I’m sharing here. I didn’t just end up a Reiki Master and Mindfulness Trainer by chance. I’ve been doing this for decades and it is the game changer. This is where we begin to transform and begin to have a deeper and richer experience in this incarnation.
Tagged: forgiveness, self inquiry, self reflection, love, transformation, how do I forgive, forgiveness tips, free course, self inquiry course, learn self-inquiry, self-examine, self-reflect, self-discovery0 Likes